"Can you please squirt me because I’m juicy?" -Me, during the filling of water balloons while consuming alcoholic juice
"I may not be able to make chicken noodle soup, but I can spoon meat like no other!" -Eric, on his cooking abilities
Eric: You don’t get just to be a ninja. You have to practice!
Dani: That’s why you walk into walls?
Eric: I wasn’t practicing then!
Louis to Kim: Why didn’t you put necrophilia, like I thought you would?
Eric: That’s not a disease; it’s a lifestyle!
"Oven, comma, baking your mother in." -Dani, on her “O” answer for “crimes” during a game of Scattergories.